Moments of Wonderful

…rather than a lifetime of nothing special. A diabetes blog.

Moments of Wonderful - …rather than a lifetime of nothing special. A diabetes blog.

The Bottom Line

This has been one of the hardest posts for me to write, and I have been writing it and deleting it for a few days now because I can’t figure out what I want to say.

Basically it comes down to this:

Tired

I am tired of diabetes. I am tired of writing about it. I am tired of reading about it. I am tired of answering questions. I am tired of carb counting. I am tired of changing my pump sites. I am tired of refilling my insulin pump. I am tired of knowing that the routine I am so tired of will never change.

I don’t want anyone to think that I am not taking care of myself. I am. I might not be checking my blood sugar 8-12 times a day like I used to – but I am still checking. I am taking my insulin with every meal. I am doing the bottom line tasks that are required of me. I almost feel like I should tell you my averages (I actually wrote them here and deleted them), but the numbers really don’t matter. And I know my family who reads this will freak out, but I wanted to be honest with everyone, let you know how I am feeling and why I have been so absent.

I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what I will write next. I don’t know when I will write next. I just know I am so tired of this.

Category: health
  • Rachel says:

    Sorry to hear you’re in one of these rough spots. We all need a break sometimes from diabetes overload, though.

    October 15, 2009 at 12:30 am
  • George says:

    The kind of cool part is the second you want to come around, we will all be here. AND you have my number if you want to talk about anything else.

    Take care Sara, I’ll be watching for your return.

    Your friend,

    George 🙂

    October 15, 2009 at 1:52 am
  • Crystal says:

    A gazillion hugs. I am right there with you. Right. There. So, so tired.

    ((((hugs))))

    October 15, 2009 at 3:49 am
  • Hannah says:

    Big bear hug for Sara!

    (((((((((((((((((((((( HUGSSSSSSSS )))))))))))))))))))))))

    October 15, 2009 at 4:36 am
  • deanusa says:

    take care sara.

    October 15, 2009 at 7:17 am
  • Caraline says:

    So sorry to hear you have hit a really rough patch Sara. Sounds like you could do with a break from at least those things that it is safe to take a break from. Hope you are able to kick back & relax a bit and recharge those batteries.

    October 15, 2009 at 9:00 am
  • Cherise says:

    Sara—

    BIG HUGS! I miss you chica but take your time. I understand where your coming from. You have my e-mail info, of you need it use it:)

    October 15, 2009 at 10:08 am
  • Allison Blass says:

    I totally know what you mean. I’m tired of diabetes too! That’s why only some of my posts are about diabetes. I started to feel like it was all encompassing my life, so now that I talk about other things, I feel more comfortable when I talk about diabetes because I know it’s really important. We’re still here and will read whatever you want to talk about!

    October 15, 2009 at 10:56 am
  • karena says:

    It’s okay to take a break, the diabetes will be there when you decide to hang with it again, and so will we. Thanks for being honest, and I hope your family will help you and support you in addition to the freaking out. Your numbers are not the important thing here, your feelings and your ability to deal are. I KNOW what it’s like to get tired of this stuff (my 20 year pumpaversary is coming up). Take a rest and we’ll just see ya later!

    October 15, 2009 at 12:15 pm
  • Julie Langdon says:

    Dear Sara,

    Even I as a parent do not always have the emotional energy to post on my email support list or forums.

    Ihope you can get back some of your energy in your absence, thanks for all you have done on DD so far –

    xoxo

    October 15, 2009 at 3:11 pm
  • Kerri. says:

    ((( Sara ))) Diabetes and burnout is The Suck. Big time.

    Take all the time you need – you know we’ll be here when you come back.

    October 20, 2009 at 9:28 am
  • Mom says:

    not freaking out too much as long as you are still taking care of yourself; but hoping you will find some rest and renewed committment to help others when it is time.

    October 20, 2009 at 9:58 pm
  • Neal Goodfriend says:

    Sara:

    For what it is worth. Very few people have the intestinal fortitude, patience, compasion and energy to do what you have been doing with this blog. I am the father of a brand new diabetic son. He is 10 and was diagnosed 2 months ago on his 10th birthday. We have sat in front of this very computer together and read your posts, listened to your ideas and the ideas of others who read this. He is bright, kind, full of life and he saw hope in you and your friends here. If nothing else makes sense right now, know that you have changed the life of a little 10 year old boy. However small you may feel this is, it is not. We have had many sleepless nights of tears and frustration that are now better because the world has people like you.

    Cheer up! Steven wants you to!

    October 25, 2009 at 3:51 pm
  • Scott K. Johnson says:

    Hey Sara,

    Sorry for being so late in reading this.

    I am very in touch with what you’re feeling, and I think it is a completely natural thing when living with diabetes. As Kerri said, burnout is The Suck!

    As George also said, when you’re ready, we’re all out here for you. I second G-Money’s offer to talk or chat or e-mail or whatever if you need anything. Even if you want to chat non-D stuff, and just need someone to talk to. Whatever.

    Take your time with this, and don’t force yourself back to anything (except for the care you need – that’s unfortunately not negotiable).

    We love you Sara!

    October 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm

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