This has been one of the hardest posts for me to write, and I have been writing it and deleting it for a few days now because I can’t figure out what I want to say.
Basically it comes down to this:
I am tired of diabetes. I am tired of writing about it. I am tired of reading about it. I am tired of answering questions. I am tired of carb counting. I am tired of changing my pump sites. I am tired of refilling my insulin pump. I am tired of knowing that the routine I am so tired of will never change.
I don’t want anyone to think that I am not taking care of myself. I am. I might not be checking my blood sugar 8-12 times a day like I used to – but I am still checking. I am taking my insulin with every meal. I am doing the bottom line tasks that are required of me. I almost feel like I should tell you my averages (I actually wrote them here and deleted them), but the numbers really don’t matter. And I know my family who reads this will freak out, but I wanted to be honest with everyone, let you know how I am feeling and why I have been so absent.
I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what I will write next. I don’t know when I will write next. I just know I am so tired of this.