Wow. I haven’t written in over a month. I knew it had been a while, but I had no idea it has been that long.

I am completely overwhelmed right now. I feel like I could handle the situations that are going on right now if they were happening one at a time, but they are happening all at once and I am honestly having difficulty coping.
Situations 1 and 2: I don’t blog much about my job because I like to keep certain parts of my life private. Let’s just say that there have been some changes at work. Any time that there is a new person ‘in charge’ they are going to make some changes to make the organization fit with their vision. As a result, my job changed pretty significantly as of June 1st.
I am still doing basically the same thing that I have been doing for the past four or so years but reporting to a different person with a different ultimate focus/purpose. I found out about two weeks before June 1st that my job would be changing and was told that my old position was being eliminated so that if I didn’t accept the new job I would be jobless on the 1st. Needless to say, I accepted.
For the last three years or so, my job provided free housing as quite a nice perk. I was not making as much as I could have doing what I do in another area, but not having to pay for any housing expenses more than made up for it.
The job transition included an improved job title/promotion and a slight salary increase. However a huge downside is that I need to move out of my apartment and begin paying rent. I’ve been apartment hunting but I have some unique circumstances that are making the search a little lot more difficult than it should be.
I hate it when people write about something or hint about something and say they can’t tell you the whole story, but unfortunately that is the situation I find myself in now.
Situation 3: I live about 3000 miles away from my family so the friends that I have made here have become my family. My two closest friends here (married to each other) recently found a new job across the country so they are packing their stuff as I type and will be moving next week. Long distance friendships are hard and I am really going to miss them.
Situation 4: I recently found out that someone I thought I was close to has been systematically lying to me for about three months about something really important. I am not sure why they did it and the way that I found out about it pretty much sucked. I am very protective of the people closest to me – i.e. they know that I basically think they can do no wrong and that if anyone else messes with them I will mess with their face, so it’s not like they had a reason to lie. It’s all just confusing and hurtful.
Situation 5: I am headed on vacation this week. I will be starting in Orlando for the Roche Social Media Summit this week. I am excited to meet new friends and reconnect with the old ones (each word is a different friend – click away!). It was too convenient and the potential for too much fun to turn down the opportunity to travel back to California with a certain ninja. So straight from Roche I will be headed across the country to spend a week with my family.
I am very excited to see my family and relax a little but didn’t anticipate being newly in a job and almost homeless when I scheduled it. It is going to be hard to turn the chaos off in my brain and give myself the vacation I desperately need.
Situation 6: I can’t get this trip and these faces out of my mind. My troubles are so frivolous compared to their daily lives. That trip changed me in some big ways, ways I probably don’t even understand yet. I wrote a post in mid-May about a friend going on a similar trip to India. When she got there with her team, the host told them that it would have been better if they had not come. Not because they weren’t needed or anything like that. He said they shouldn’t have come because the trip would ruin them; that they would never be the same. That couldn’t be more true.


  • Looking forward to meeting you, too!

    Oh, how I understand the job/personal life/etc overwhelming. So glad you are visiting your family after Roche – you definitely need it!

  • wishing the best for you sara.

    none of my business of course but grab someone at the “roche” and poor your heart out!it will do wonders.never solves anything but boy do you feel better after.

  • Hi Sara! I can easily identify with your situations. My family is too far away from me and I get to see my sons and grandchildren only once each year. Several times during my teaching years there were “friends” who “stabbed me in the back”. It is so hurtful when that happens. It made it difficult to trust the friends I still had. I had to change jobs and move my family three times during my employment. That is such a hassal.

    I hope your trip and visit with your family helps you a lot! Good luck with your new job.


  • I really hope something turns around for you. Its lousy to hear that you can’t trust someone you thought you could trust- that’s a big dissappointment. I hope your stepback from life (aka vacation) will afford (or bless) you with either a refreshed attitiude, a new opportunity, or something else.

    I really hope something good and positive happens for you- bank that I’ll pray for it 🙂

  • Oh Sara, we will all be with you. Remember that all things happen for a reason.I know you will find peace and new exciting things in your journey.

  • Sara, those are a lot of situations to deal with. I wonder why we get served more than we can chew sometimes and then I do as you have done and a) write about the things that are heavy and this offers some new perspective and provides a way to let some of the weight roll off. b) reach out which also offers some perspective and gives a safe place to ‘tell’ and then hear that we are not alone and c) look in the mirror and recognize a person with really strong shoulders, lots of stuff to do and share, and needs to pull up the boot straps and get going. I know you see this person in the mirror, too. That host in India was wrong about being ruined, if you ask me – I think you and your friend were enlightened in amazing ways and strengthened well beyond your ability to understand. You need a vacation so go and enjoy your family and allow them to spoil you!

  • Sara, I’m so sorry that so much has been going on in your life. I hope that things settle down and that you get things back in order soon. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

  • karena – I think you and he are essentially saying the same thing. By ‘ruined’ he meant that we will never be the same again. The enlightenment that you mention won’t go away and will probably effect how we view our own situations and struggles long into the future.

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