This time of year is not my favorite. Even in Florida, the seasons are changing, it is getting darker earlier, and the temperature is even dropping a little. And as you may have picked up from my last post, I start to really miss my family and wish that I didn’t live 3000 miles away from them.

This year, the gloominess is being combined with a bit of a diabetes ennui. I am mostly doing the right things – but probably not as often and as accurately as I should.

Recent posts about trips to the endocrinologist reminded me that I am behind schedule on that as well. But it is not entirely my fault. Here’s the story.

I have been in Florida for six years and I am on my third endo. I liked my first, but she quit after she got pregnant with twins. Her replacement and I did not get along. He had a bad habit of citing studies that did not apply to me and recommending treatments before he even opened my chart. My third endo is was from a very well respected practice and does a decent job at listening to me and offering suggestions for me management.

A few months ago I received a letter in the mail alerting me that she was leaving the well-respected practice to work at the same practice as my first Florida endo. As a result, they canceled my December appointment and let me know that I would have to call to schedule a new appointment with her replacement.

I slacked on making an appointment because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I like that endo well enough, but from talking to other members of the online community, I think I should expect more from the practice, if I was to stay with it. It is very difficult to get ahold of the doctor between appointments and there is no CDE, dietician, or anyone else who I can contact for a quick consultation. It is a big name practice with very little service.

Then I think about sticking with her in the new practice, and I am not thrilled with that idea either. Other than my old endo, I despised the practice. The other doctors would yell at the nurses in the hallways, and the patient files were stacked behind the front desk sometimes waist high. However, if I see my new endo at the old practice, it would actually be at a different location AND I’ve heard that they’ve changed to electronic files.

All this to say, this decision was the perfect reason for me to not do what I was supposed to do. But, I’m running out of insulin. It was just enough motivation to try to get an appointment before I go home for Christmas. Try. One office had an appointment available in January, the other in February. I will call in my prescription refills and hope for the best.

My ulterior motive in seeing my doctor was to get my A1c drawn. Yes, it is just a number. It doesn’t define me. Blah, blah, blah.

Like it or not, it is the tool we use to determine whether or not our current management is working. And I need to know. So for about the same price as a copay, I am headed to the pharmacy to pick up a home A1c kit. I’m nervous about what it will say but also somewhat hopeful it will be the kick I need.

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I wrote most of this post on Saturday afternoon, and after some technical difficulties took my A1c test on Sunday night. If the results are valid, they were .1% different from my last appointment and in a range that the professionals describe as good control.

I feel like the test did the opposite of what it was suppose to do. It’s like I now have permission to continue my so-so control because the results are still working. So now what do I do?